


The Date

by Naralanis



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3545729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naralanis/pseuds/Naralanis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andy gets tricked into a blind date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Date

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I dashed off. I had this idea and it hooked itself in my brain, so... Here it is!
> 
> ~Naralanis

“Dougie, I’m not sure I’m up for this.”

“Don’t you start with me. You’re going. No buts, just butts.”

Andy glared at her friend. For almost a year now, Doug had been trying to set her up with a multitude of women, since he deemed her recent ‘dry spell’ unacceptable. She smirked remembering her odd ‘coming out’ all those years ago… Which consisted of Doug walking in on her and a blonde, pixie-haired beauty. He had turned around and come back straight after, with an Amazon.com page for toaster ovens on his Ipad and said ‘take your pick, you two’. Then he left without a word. Andy had tried to apologise to her date, who then just burst out laughing.

Andy had no trouble finding partners on her own. On the contrary, she was quite good at it. What ticked Doug so much was her inability to keep them for longer than a month. After an unusually demanding year at work, the dating scene had simply taken a backseat. But of course, Doug would have none of it.

“You’ll love her. She’s just your type. Well, almost.”

She downed her wine and turned to him, eyebrow raised.

“Almost? What do you mean?”

He shrugged.

“I know you’re into blondes, the lighter the better. She has light red hair, but she’s a beaut with bright blue eyes, legs that go on for days, so don’t worry. She’s also… well…” he trailed off.

“She’s what, Doug?”

“I’ll admit she is a little young.”

The brunette groaned. This was getting worse and worse by the minute.

“How young?” she asked. It wouldn’t be the first time that Doug tried to set her up with someone barely this side of legal, so that was a situation she would very much like to avoid at all costs.

“You’ve had younger. I know you’re into them cougars, my friend, but trust me, you’ll like this one.”

Andy directed one of her best glares at her match-making friend, but shrugged nonetheless. It was just dinner, wasn’t it? If it didn’t go well, she’d just buckle up for the night and then be done with it.

“Fine. Details.”

Doug’s grin went from ear to ear.

“Great! Her name’s Carrie, you’ll meet tomorrow at seven, at Bernie’s, OK?”

 

At exactly a quarter to seven, Andy found herself sitting at a booth at a trendy eatery in Brooklyn, running the details Doug had given her for her date through her mind. She had frowned when Doug told her the girl was still just about to graduate from university, but relented. She was a Business major with an English Literature minor interning at Doug’s company, and according to the enthusiastic cupid wannabe that was her friend, she and Andy shared similar tastes in books, music, and films. They always did, though, allegedly. More than once Andy was surprised to find someone that was almost the polar opposite of what her friend had described, so she didn’t really have high hopes for this one.

She fiddled with her phone for a little while, dreading the rest of the evening a little. She was so engrossed in a particularly challenging level of Tetris she almost jumped out of her skin when a soft voice called to her.

“Hey there, are you Andy?”

After recovering from the initial shock, Andy took a good look at the visitor who was undoubtedly her date. What she saw almost took her breath away. A very well dressed young woman stood in front of her, running an impeccably manicured hand through her very short, reddish-blonde hair, a smile reaching all the way to her sparkling azure eyes.

Jesus Christ, those eyes! Andy immediately drowned in them, both intrigued and a little confused. A familiar, dormant feeling resurged in the pit of her stomach. She had never seen eyes so electric, except… Well, it wouldn’t do to think of it now.

“Uh… hi. Yes. Andy. Me. I mean, I’m Andy” she muttered, shaking her head and extending her hand to the newcomer. Nice going, cavewoman. Andy me, seriously?! “You must be Carrie.”

“Yes. Carrie. Me.” The girl teased, shaking Andy’s hand good-naturedly before taking a seat across from the brunette. She carried herself with such grace and poise that Andy could not help but note she seemed older than she looked. She smiled— she liked confidence.

“You look oddly familiar” Carrie began, eyeing Andy carefully.

Andy agreed. She could swear she had seen the girl before, and yet… not.

“I get this strange feeling I know you from somewhere… Have we met before?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I visit Doug at work. We may have crossed paths there once or twice.”

Carrie seemed to find that answer acceptable. Andy began to dread the rest of the night— she could never deal with awkwardness of first dates very well.

She worried for nothing. Carrie was a very easy person to talk to, conversing animatedly about pretty much anything. She sounded a lot more mature than Andy had expected, discussing a variety of in-depth subjects with genuine interest. Their talk went from music (both of them had very eclectic tastes, but found a number of bands and artists they mutually enjoyed), art, politics, literature (both were die-hard Austen fans, though Carrie guiltily admitted to being a hard-core Potterhead as well), and so on. Andy was legitimately having fun, and it seemed the young woman was as well. They really did have a lot in common— it was the best date she’d had in a good while. Carrie’s maturity and confidence quickly made Andy forget about the difference in age; not that it really mattered. Andy herself had dated women much older than she was, almost exclusively in fact.

By the time they got to dessert, they had exhausted much of the general topics— favourite colour, music, food, books, movies, etc. The conversation turned a bit more personal when Carrie asked where Andy was from and about her family.

“Oh well, I’m from Ohio originally. I have a younger brother by two years, he’s married now” she cringed thinking back at how her mother had ‘discreetly’ hinted at her own single status and tried to set her up with virtually any other single human being in the vicinity. Not cool. “How about you? Any siblings?”

“Oh yeah, I have a sister. We were both born and raised in Manhattan. She studies at the Fashion Institute now”

They finished the meal, and when it was finally time to go, Andy offered Carrie a ride home, genuinely enjoying the girl’s company.

“Haha, I’ll take it, but just because you don’t look too much like a total psycho!” she teased as Andy escorted her to her car.

“Gee, thanks!” the brunette laughed.

The drive was filled with pleasant conversation with Carrie occasionally directing Andy to turn whenever needed. It wasn’t until they were in front of a grand townhouse on the Upper East Side that Andy took in her surroundings with a panicked startle.

“That’s me here, thanks” Carrie said, before turning to Andy and seeing her state. “What’s wrong?”

Andy trembled as she took a deep breath. Oh God, please, no, no, NO!

“This is your house?” she asked, trying to appear calm.

“Yeah” the girl said.

“Your name isn’t really Carrie, isn’t it?” The brunette said, afraid of the answer. Of all the women in Manhattan… Jesus H. Christ!

“No, it’s a nickname. Nobody really calls me by my name, except my mom”

“You’re Caroline Priestly!” Andy all but screeched. “Oh my God, I knew I had seen you somewhere before! I am done for. I’m dead, I’m so dead” she rambled.

“Wait, what?! What do you mean? How do you know me?!”

Andy rolled her eyes. It was just her luck, the best date she’d had in months would be with none other than Miranda Priestly’s daughter. She would officially forbid Doug from setting her up with anyone. Ever. The brunette turned to look at Caroline. She should have known as soon as she looked into those blue eyes. Fuck.

“I used to work for Miran-uh, your mother, a long time ago.” Caroline raised an eyebrow at that. “I was her assistant for a short while. You and Cassidy tricked me into going upstairs my first night delivering the Book. It almost got me fired.” She glared at the girl. The twins had been notorious for pranking unsuspecting assistants.

Caroline’s eye widened in surprise.

“Holy shit! You’re the one who got us Harry Potter!! You’re An-dray-uh!!”

“That’s me” Andy said sourly, internally wincing at Caroline’s Mirandized pronunciation of her name. It still ignited an uncomfortable reaction, even after all these years.

“You’re the one who left mom in Paris! Oh my God, she was so furious! This is hilarious!” the girl said, laughing heartily.

“Hilarious?! Are you kidding me?! I am d-e-a-d, DEAD. Oh, my God, I can’t believe I took Miranda Priestly’s daughter on a date!”

“And what a date it was, am I right?” Caroline shot back, wiping the tears from her eyes and winking saucily, her laughter on the brink of uncontrollable.

“You mother is going to murder me!” Andy barked, hiding her head in her hands.

“It’s more likely that she’ll murder me. I dared to go on a date with her An-dray-uh, after all”.

Wait, what? Andy didn’t have time to ask, because someone tapped at the car window on Caroline’s side. To her horror, a carbon copy of Caroline, only with long hair in a ponytail, stood outside the vehicle, eyeing her sister suspiciously. Caroline began laughing uproariously at the situation.

“Cass! Get in here!” She said, unlocking the backseat doors. Cassidy threw Andy a weird look, but snuck into the backseat as her sister asked.

“I saw you in the car. What’s going on? You've been here a while.”

Caroline contained her laughter very briefly.

“I was on a date. Cass, this is An-dray-uh. My date.”

Cassidy gawked at Andy, who groaned.

“Holy shit!! Caroline, you should have told me!! How long has this been going on?! You’ve been screwing mom’s assistant?” then she looked Andy over, much like Miranda used to in her Runway days. “Nice.” She added with a gleeful wink.

“HEY! There’s nothing going on, especially not that!!” Andy cringed at the very thought. “And I have been your mother’s assistant for years!” she added as an afterthought.

“I bet it would have if you hadn’t caught on” Caroline added through her laughter.

Andy shot her a glare, but made no comment. There was a very real possibility that she would never have sex again. Not with anyone more than five years her junior, in any case. And definitely no redheads. Nope. She just couldn't believe her luck. Or rather, her utter lack thereof.

“Mom’s going to flip!” Cassidy said, also laughing. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this. I don’t know which one of you should be more worried about getting brutally murdered and buried in the yard.”

“Clearly me!” Andy shrieked “I’m the one who took her spawn on a date! I’ll need Witness Protection!” The twins simply couldn’t stop laughing.

“No way, Jose. She’ll probably disown me for thinking I touched her precious An-draaaaay-uuh.”

“What the Hell are you talking about? It’s been years. If your mother even remembers me, she most likely despises me.” Andy snapped.

“Are you kidding me?” Cassidy retorted through her guffaws. “She was all weird when you left. She went through like ten assistants a week for the longest time! It was all ‘Andrea wouldn't do that’, ‘Andrea would do it better’, ‘That’s not how Andrea did it’…”

“Holy crap! You’re THAT Andy Sachs!! From The Mirror, The New Yorker, Rolling Stone, Vanity Fair… Mom scrapbooks all of your articles! She has since like, forever.” Caroline all but screamed with the realisation.

“Wait, what? No way. She’d never…” Andy trailed off. Miranda would never give her a second thought. She hadn’t when Andy was her assistant, and most definitely wouldn’t begin now. Or maybe she would— so she could jump on her throat to throttle her for going near her precious devil spawn. Oh, she was so dead.

“Anyway, your mother doesn’t care about me. She never has.” She finished, with a sad tone. The twins’ laughter subsided, and they looked at each other in an odd way.

“You have got to be kidding” they said at the same time, making Andy raise an eyebrow in confusion.

“You like mom!” they said again in stereo.

“What!? Don’t be ridiculous” Andy retorted, wiping her hand at the sheen of sweat that had formed on her forehead, perfectly aware of the blood rushing through her chest and cheeks.

“You do! Goddamn, you two are idiots!” Caroline stated with a smack to her own forehead.

“Old people, honestly” Cassidy chorused, rolling her eyes dramatically.

“Mom’s been into you for ages! Y’all wasted years. Jesus.”

What?! Miranda had… That wasn’t possible. The twins were obviously pulling her leg.

“Get real” Andy retorted “I left her stranded in the middle of Paris Fashion Week. I threw my phone in a fountain!”

“That was a ballsy move, lady, I have to admit” Cassidy pointed out. “Still, I don’t see you denying it.”

Andy snapped her mouth shut, but not before stammering something unintelligible in response.

“Oh my God! You do like her!” Caroline squealed. “Oh, this is great” she said, pulling out her phone. Andy had no time to react, and immediately froze into place once she realised who Caroline was calling.

“Hey mom, it’s me. Listen, I ran into an old acquaintance of yours, is it alright if we swing by?”

Andy could faintly hear Miranda questioning her daughter through the phone.

“Oh no, I was. The acquaintance was my date. What? From Runway.”

Cassidy was doing her best to muffle her snorts of laughter in her hands. Andy was sure her jaw had disconnected from her skull and now lay somewhere on the floor of the car. This could not be happening. Caroline finally snapped her phone shut and grinned evilly at Andy.

 

“All done! Come along, now.” She declared, tugging on the brunette’s arm.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Andy wailed. “There’s no way I’m stepping foot in that house! I’d never come out alive!!”

“Old people. Always so difficult” Cassidy stated, with another exaggerated eye-roll.

“Aw, come on, Andy. Go meet my mom, tell her of your intentions toward me” Caroline said with a diabolical smirk.

“I have absolutely no intentions toward you!!” Andy screeched in panic.

“Great. Now get a move on, will ya?” the redhead retorted.

 

Andy really didn’t want to, but somehow the evil duo had her locked in their arms, practically dragging her up the steps of the townhouse. She was shaking like a leaf as Cassidy opened the door and bellowed into the empty foyer.

“Mom! We’re home!”

Andy was rooted in her spot as she heard the clicking of heels through the house. The sound seemed to echo indefinitely, and she wasn’t sure if it was just in her head. Then she heard that soft, deadly voice carry itself through the hall, piercing her heart.

“Must you yell? I’m not deaf yet.”

As the clicking of heels approached, Andy legitimately thought she’d faint. Cassidy still held on firmly onto her arm, while Caroline had hers looped at her elbow. Suddenly, a superbly dressed figured appeared down the hall, stopping on her tracks as soon as she laid her electric, sharp azure gaze on the brunette. Andy couldn’t tell which of the two was more surprised, but she couldn’t help a whimper as she laid her eyes on Miranda.

It just wasn’t fair. The woman looked just as perfect and composed as she remembered, her iconic white coif almost silver under the light. She wore a fitted white blouse over a sinful pencil skirt that hugged her curves perfectly. Andy stopped herself from raking her eyes over Miranda’s stocking-clad legs— there lay danger, in the form of four-inch Louboutins. She could hear, rather than see, the Machiavellian grins on the twins’ faces.

“Mom, Andy, Andy, mom. You know each other” Cassidy ‘introduced’ them, doing a poor job of hiding her amusement.

“We’ll let you two get reacquainted” Caroline said, before turning to Andy and smirking evilly.

“Andy, the date was shit. Don’t call me. Ever.” She added, pressing a kiss to Andy’s cheek before grabbing her sister by the arm and dashing out the door.

As the door slammed, Andy could faintly hear the eruption of giggles on the other side, paired with hurried steps down the stairs and followed by the loud skidding of tires.

“They took your keys.” Miranda said, her voice expressionless.

Andy blinked in confusion, and dumbly looked at the hand that held her car keys. Only it held nothing but air.

“They took… my ke… My car!! The little shi-!” Andy shrieked. Before she could elaborate further, however, she was surprised by a chuckle. A chuckle that came from Miranda Priestly. If she wasn’t so frazzled, she would have absolutely adored it.

“My children’s reputation precedes them.” Miranda said simply, not even trying to hide the curl of her lip. All Andy could do was gawk at the woman. Her lack of response drew a half-hearted glare from the other woman.

“As impressive as your guppy impression is, Andrea, it is still highly unattractive. Why don’t you join me in the study for a drink, and tell me all about your date.” She drawled, turning around and walking down the hall, motioning for Andrea to follow.  
Andy stood frozen for a moment before following, wondering if the woman’s hips had always swayed like that and supressing a groan. She silently sent a prayer to whatever deity happened to be listening, hoping she wasn’t walking into an early grave.

Once she did reach the study, she sucked the air sharply through her teeth. Miranda was leaning against the counter of a small bar by the wall, already swirling a drink in a glass. Another one was waiting, half-filled with amber liquid. With a courage she didn’t know she possessed, Andy strode into the room and went straight for the glass. She had every intention of sipping it gracefully, but as soon as the liquid touched her lips she downed it in one big gulp. She could swear she heard a faint chuckle again, but it could be her mind playing tricks on her. God knew this situation was already weird enough.

“How have you been, Andrea?” Miranda asked after a few moments of pregnant silence.

Andy couldn’t help a chuckle.

“You hate small talk, Miranda.” She pointed out.

Miranda Priestly shrugged her shoulders in a way that was very reminiscent of a teenager. It was unbearably adorable.

“True” she conceded. “But I thought it would be a preferable way to start the evening as opposed to breaking out the shotgun.”

Andy’s jaw almost hit the floor before she snapped it shut with a clatter of her teeth. Did Miranda just make a joke?

“I have been known to joke on occasion, Andrea” Miranda said, as if she had read Andy’s mind. “Now how about you explain how you found yourself on a date with my daughter?” she added with a pointed glare.

“Uh, ahem, this friend, Doug, he knows her from work, and, um, he set me up, and, I didn’t really know… I mean, she’s grown so much, and I didn’t realise, uh-”

“Andrea.”

“Yes, Miranda?”

“Stop rambling.”

“Right. Sorry.” Andy spluttered. “It really was an accident. I hadn’t realised who she was. I would have shot her down.”

“I can’t say I blame her for trying. She takes after her mother quite a bit.” Miranda said.

There had to be a way to brace her jaw against falling open so ‘unattractively’, Andy mused.

“Well. It wouldn’t have gone far, I reckon. Caroline isn’t really my type” she tried.

“And what would your type be, Andrea?” Miranda asked, her eyes sparkling. Andy tried to read them; they were full of expectation and, surprisingly, doubt.

“Oh, she’s pretty dam close to my type.” She said, feeling a lot more confident all of a sudden. She chuckled at Miranda’s raised eyebrow. “She’s just a little too young for me, though.”

Miranda’s eyes twinkled.

“Oh.”

Yes. Oh.

 

The shrill ringing of a cell-phone woke Andy from a rather pleasant dream. She groaned as she reached for it blindly. Finally grasping the offending apparatus, she snapped it open and grumbled a sleepy and annoyed ‘hello’.

“Andy! Girl! I rang your house, but you weren’t there. I take it that the date went well?” Doug chimed from the other end, way too happy for… two in the afternoon?!

“Doug” she mumbled “Goway”

“You sound sleepy. Oh my God, you’re in bed!? Andy Elizabeth Sachs, on the first date?! Why I oughta-”

He was cut off when her phone was unceremoniously clicked shut by a delicate hand. The same hand took it from her own and tossed it over to the other side of the room.

“Hey! That’s an expensive phone!” Andy moaned.

“An eye for an eye… A phone for a phone.” said a voice muffled by a pillow. “Now, tell me, this Doug… Are flowers an acceptable ‘thank you’ gift?”  
Andy laughed.

“I don’t know. I don’t care. We can discuss it later. And I demand you ground your little demons. They stole my car!”

“Oh, they just borrowed it. I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Borrowed it? They lifted my keys and skidded away! I swear, if there’s a single scratch on that car… We will talk about this. At length.”

The hand that had launched her phone across the room silenced her with a playful pinch.

“Sleep now. Talk later. C’mere.” The voice demanded as arms wrapped around her torso.

Andy could not stop her face-splitting grin.

“Yes, Miranda.”


End file.
